How to Avoid a Life You’ll Regret
You don’t fear getting older. You fear looking back with regret.
We know we’re getting old. That’s not the issue. The issue is looking back knowing we didn’t make the most of our time. We regret our decisions.
I hear people say “I don’t have any regrets because it made me who I am today”. But they don’t even like who they are today. They’re lying to themselves. They heard someone else say that, thought it sounded good, and repeated it like it was their own words.
Most of them are either hiding from the past or have zero agency. Either way, they’re limiting their opportunity for growth, which will lead to them making more regretful decisions.
The only people that get to say “I don’t have any regrets because it made me who I am today” are the ones who actually took the time to learn.
Why Regret Is Not Bad
Regret isn’t bad. It’s just your subconscious saying you didn’t do what you thought was right. Your actions weren’t aligned with your values. And it presents an opportunity to learn.
The problem is when you don’t. When you regret your decisions and don’t change your behaviour. You keep repeating the same patterns. Keep making the same mistakes. Then years later, you end up being a different person to who you know you could have been.
That’s when regret gets bad. When you ignore it for too long, you’re older, you have less time, and you’re more stuck in your ways. But it’s never too late.
You’re still faced with the same decision you’ve always had. Keep going as you have been doing. Or change. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to stop pretending you’re fine with being who you’re not.
What You Will Regret
Short-term thinking leads to long-term regret. When you’re so busy trying to make yourself happy today, you forget about you tomorrow.
You act solely on your animal instincts. Forgetting about your goals and objectives. Resisting that pull is difficult. But the alternative is living a life you’ll regret.
The best approach is to always think long-term.
Health
Fast food. Scrolling. TV shows. Smoking. All sources of cheap dopamine. All just painkillers. All methods of escape. You’re choosing pleasure now to avoid feeling pain. But it only creates more.
You’ll become overweight and develop anxiety. You’ll be physically and mentally unhealthy. You’ll look in the mirror and see nothing but regret. And that’s not going to change. Unless you do.
You start thinking of your future self. Start taking care of him. Because when you wake up tomorrow — and you are him — you’ll thank your younger self.
Work
Everyone wants to get rich quickly. But for what? Cars? Watches? Girls? You have to realise that none of those things will make you happy.
Some of you will have to get those things to understand. Others, those of you who are more intellectual, can extrapolate into the future.
Think about the things you were dying to have. When you eventually got those things, how long did the buzz last? Within a week of getting anything, you were already thinking about what’s next.
Understand: human fulfillment comes from the pursuit. The act of getting the thing, not having the thing, is what makes us feel good. So does it not make sense to extend the pursuit as long as we can? To set a big goal, something worthy of accomplishing, far off into the future?
You can call it your mission, task, or purpose. Pursue that over trying to get rich quick.
Relationships
If you’re off the market because you’re busy with your health or work then fair enough. But if you’re open to something, your intention should always be long-term.
Fucking around with different people is a waste of time and energy. It just tells me that you’re unfocused.
Shying away out of fear or inexperience is backwards. The only way you’ll overcome your fear or inexperience is by putting yourself out there.
And staying in a relationship that you know isn’t going to work is immature. Ending it sooner is better than later.
So if you’re looking for something then look, and if she’s a walking red flag, move on.
Final Thoughts
Regret is just feedback. A message from the person you could have been. You can ignore it and stay the same. Or you can listen to it and start changing.
You already know what needs to be done. You’ve known for a while. The longer you wait, the worse it gets. So stop lying to yourself. You don’t need to fix your whole life overnight. Just stop making it worse.
Start with one decision. Then another. And keep going. That’s how you build a life you’ll be proud of.
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