How to Not Be Average
Most guys never change. Here’s how to be the exception.
The average guy in his 20s is anxious, overweight, lonely, and is either working a job he doesn’t care about or constantly bouncing between ideas. You probably relate to at least one of those. But if you don’t change now, you never will. You’ll hit 30, 40, maybe 50 — still stressed, still overweight, still wasting time. Probably in a relationship but not with someone you actually want. So here’s how to not be average.
Anxious
The average guy is anxious because he’s wasting his potential and he knows it. He spends his time scrolling, gaming, and watching porn. Has no direction, structure, or purpose. He makes plans but doesn’t see them through. Makes decisions and doesn’t stick to it. He trusts himself less and doubts himself more. He ends up overthinking everything.
The alternative is a life of structure, direction, and intent. Everything you do has to serve a purpose. Your purpose. Your long-term vision. When your goals are set, your mind will clear. When your days are planned, your mind becomes focused. When you act more and think less, you kill self-doubt. Scrolling, porn, and music are only painkillers. Fulfilling your purpose and carrying out your duty is the solution.
You do that by thinking long-term. You set goals far off into the future and create a plan to get there. That becomes your path. And you stay on it. It’s going to be a struggle. You’re going to experience pain. You’re going to be stressed. But that’s the point. If you don’t put yourself under stress your mind will do it for you. That’s what anxiety is. Taking it easy and getting nowhere is stressful. So you might as well be stressed and productive.
Overweight
The average guy is fat because he has no self-control. That’s a flaw. If you have no self-control other people will control you. They’ll appeal to the animal. They’ll give you access to easy pleasure and help you numb the pain. That’s what fast food and entertainment is. It’ll have you eating more and moving less. Causing you to become overweight.
The alternative is practicing self-control and discipline. You understand your basic need to chase pleasure and avoid pain—but you look past it. You don’t give in to temptation. You’re not a slave to impulse. You’re rational. You act based on logic, not emotion. You know the high from instant gratification will go as fast as it comes. So you don’t chase it.
You delay it. You play the long game. You get satisfaction from staying on track. From doing what you said you’d do. From becoming the guy you know you can be. When you act like him, you feel like him. You have more self-respect. You carry yourself differently. And once you get a glimpse of your best version—being anything less won’t do.
Lonely
The reality is, as men, we will almost always be alone. Especially if you’re trying not to be average. They say it’s lonely at the top, I think it’s lonely on the way up. At the bottom, everyone’s with you sharing ideas. When you start, most of them won’t. Then further down the line, you’ll be the last man standing because everyone else gave up. You can still be surrounded by people, but none of them will really understand.
That’s when it’s tempting to fold. To start acting like everyone else again just to connect. But you can’t. That’s acting out of weakness and short-sightedness. When you try to act like everyone else, you stop acting like yourself. You might become more relatable, but you still won’t deeply connect. And in doing so, you lose yourself.
The answer isn’t to force connection. It’s to be unapologetically you. To do what you want to do.
To speak your mind and think for yourself. That will push a lot of people away and that’s good. They weren’t meant for you. This mindset kills any awkwardness and desperation. You’ll speak with conviction. You won’t care about being disliked. And that confidence will only draw more people in.
Directionless
Money is a distraction for most. They have no clear direction so money becomes the direction. They end up serving money where money should serve their purpose. That’s why they’re stuck in jobs they don’t care about. They spend weeks, months, even years doing something they don’t want to do. Then they get paid and forget. Then they use that money to forget even more. But that emptiness is always there.
Most of them have ideas. Some of them have even tried. They jump from one thing to the next, never giving any of it enough time. Like with the gym, they lack discipline. The results don’t come fast enough, so they leave just as fast. Then they look back with regret. Thinking about what could’ve been, if they were just a little more patient.
Risk or regret. That’s the choice. Risk chasing your vision or regret settling for comfort. Risk walking alone or regret living like a clone. Risk staying patient or regret quitting early. Risk becoming great or regret dying average.
Ready to Reach Your Next Phase?
Become your best version yet.
