Stop Being Controlled—Master These 5 Masculine Principles
The modern world makes you weak. But it doesn’t have to.
The modern world isn’t geared for men. That’s not a complaint. It’s a fact. Men are designed to take risk, compete, and protect. That’s good in war and survival. But not in modern society.
School, work, and social media all demand emotional sensitivity and image management. Traits that don’t come naturally to most men. We get rewarded for complying and punished for being assertive.
We’re told to express our emotions. But not taught how. We’re becoming more anxious and depressed. Yet we still carry masculine shadows—like pride, lust, aggression—and we’re told to bury them. We end up numbing ourselves. But that just makes us more lost.
I’ve been there too. Not weak. Just misaligned. We could wait for the world to change. But it won’t. So we must learn how to use it—rather than let it use us.
Expose Yourself to Hardship
Comfort makes you soft. Social media. Fast food. Streaming. All used to run from chaos. But they draw you in deeper. They make you emotional, impulsive, and reactive. Less in control. You scroll to numb the pain. To quiet your anxiety. But that creates more. You hide from your problems. But while you’re hiding, they grow. The hiding becomes a habit. And you become someone you don’t respect. Deep down, you’re tired of having to run and hide. That was me for a long time.
The tension you feel is good. Don’t numb it. Use it. Walk without your phone. Fast from food. Say what needs to be said. That trains your nervous system to hold tension instead of collapsing into emotion. You build your tolerance to pain. And that makes you stronger. It’s not about chasing pain though. It’s about being able to carry it. That’s how you go from being pushed around to the one that does the pushing.
Master Your Emotions
Emotions are a form of communication. That doesn’t mean you express them all. It means you express what you choose and when. If you lay everything on the table, you become easy to read. People learn your triggers. They start to control your reactions. You open yourself up to games and manipulation. That’s not possible if they don’t know where you stand.
But choosing what you express, and when, gives you power. You might feel angry, sad, or scared. But that doesn’t mean need to show it. And the less expressive you are, the more it means when you do express. If you’re always laughing and shouting, people will get used to it. But if you’re usually calm, even a look carries weight. That’s maturity. Not hiding emotion but holding it. Because if you’re able to hold it, you’re able to use it.
Play the Game
The modern world runs on soft power. Social dynamics. Reputation. Emotional intelligence. None of that comes naturally to most men. Everything’s indirect. But we still take it at face value. We miss the real moves being made. That ignorance keeps you behind. You’re in this game whether you like it or not. So you might as well learn how to play.
The power is in words. The right sentence can shift how a person feels. Even how they see themselves. You’ll see it everywhere. In adverts, texts, and conversations. Words move people. Learn how to use them. Because others are using them on you. Start by observing. Notice how emotion follows language. How tone shapes perception. Once you see that link, you can start bending it. You’ll know what to say, when to say it, and when to say nothing at all.
Use Your Dark Side
You must understand your nature. Not run from it. Aggression, pride, and lust are all masculine traits. But we’re told they’re wrong. So we suppress them. Hide them behind a nice and polite social front. But you can’t suppress them for long. Aggression turns passive. Pride makes you look down on others. And you watch porn to release lust. All of which has a net negative effect.
You’re going to experience aggression, pride, and lust. They’re not flaws but fuel. If you can learn how to channel them. Use aggression to focus on your purpose. Use it to build. Whether that’s your body or a business. Use pride to maintain your standards. Don’t tolerate disrespect. And know your self-worth. Then use lust to heighten your ambition. The goal isn’t to be harmless. It’s to be dangerous and precise.
Craft Your Identity
If you don’t create your own identity, the world will. You’ll become soft, nice, and uncertain. Someone you resent. But you have to be careful what you optimise for. Many men ask “what do women want?” and try to become him. They turn into someone for everyone and a person for no one. They don’t stand for anything. They just keep moving with the times.
Ask yourself: What do you want? And who do you want to be? Focus on becoming him. Create some distance from you and the crowd. Don’t let yourself get pulled into the group. And instead, spend your time working towards your goals, being alone, reading, and with people that allow you to be who you want to be. Not everyone will like this version of you. And that’s good. Let them leave. When I stopped trying to be liked, I started to like who I was becoming.
Operate in Silence
Most people are smart in conversation but stupid in action. They’ll make a good impression with their words. But when you look deeper, they don’t live by what they say. You can’t blame them though. The world rewards you for looking good. Not being good. It’s all about appearances. After a while though, you stop caring about praise.
Actions speak louder than words. I’m at a point now where I don’t care about speaking at all. Everything I do is to serve my purpose. Me speaking online is the most speaking I’ll do in a day. For me, that is an action. It moves me closer to my goals. If it didn’t, you wouldn’t hear from me at all.
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